What I Want

So...I am offically a Senior in college now. That is so crazy for me to think about but I am so excited because I feel that I am so ready to start my life. As much as I feel college can be a very necessary step in some ways I feel that I learn best doing something rather than sitting in a classroom learning something that is not necessary for me to know. Most of my classes I feel are completely useless in my ultimate goal but I have to follow the rules if I want to get my little piece of paper. Ok, thats enough ranting about the institution that is college.

I will be doing an internship this summer and the two places that are prospects are Joe's Pub in NYC or Avatar Studio which is also in NYC. I would be so excited to do either internship. Joe's Pub is one of the most respected small venues in New York with very exciting talent. Avatar is also a very large, respected recording studio in NYC. It has housed everyone from Broadway shows to Bruce Springsteen. If I get offered both I do not know which one I will choose. I feel that the Joe's Pub could be so much more hands on experience but the Avatar Studio internship will be a really good time overall. I do not know which one I want more so I will have to see how my interviews go.

I also plan on seeing a lot of Broadway shows in NYC because I will be working there so it will be easy for me to go to them. I am really looking foward to this summer and being able to work on myself. I will be doing an internship that I absolutely love and that will just get me excited to graduate and actually be able to do what I want. I am finally going to be doing something that I love and that is more exciting for me than anything else.

Sometimes.....

So... sometimes it really sucks to care about someone a lot and then have them disappoint you. I feel sick to my stomach and it will affect me for days even if I don't let on. Especially when you know that it is not your fault that they are upset or if the reason they are upset is unfair and childish. I just needed to vent because this is just how I am feeling right now. It is so annoying.

Ok, so on a better note, I am looking foward to spring break sooooo much. I cannot wait to go to the city to see Guys and Dolls with Kelly and I really hope that I get to go to the Big East tournament because it would be really unfortunate if I didn't. I also really hope that the plans for the second weekend of spring break work because there is a possibility that there is a Taking Chances concert on LI on friday March 13 and I would love to be able to go to it. So I hope that works out.

Been a While

So... I haven't posted in a while and I figured I should say something. I am back up in Syracuse back in full swing with my classes. Life has been pretty good in most parts of my life, actually better than I expected them to be. I have never been doing better with my friends than recently. My house is fantastic and I do not know what I would do with my life if not for those three. For most of my life I have never had true friends, people who really get me and share a lot of my interests. Now I have that in so many people. I didn't know the meaning of true friendship until I got to college and I am so grateful for that. The friendships that I have made here will never die or fade away, I am sure of that.

On another note, I have had the flu for the past few days which absolutely sucked and I had to take a test while I had the flu. So, now because of that I have some catch-up to do in my classes which won't be fun especially this weekend is super busy with it being Sitrus Alumni weekend and Rachel and Renae are here. I will survive, I just keep telling myself that and it will be ok. This semester is going great in most aspects but I am definitely feeling the affect of taking so many classes. I am taking 19 credits and 4 courses for zero credit which is a whole lot of school. I also got a job this semester which I needed to do because I have NO money. This is all on top of all of the great and fun stuff that I have to do.

One other great thing that happened this semester is that I got a little sister in TBS. Jenna is fantastic and I love spending time with her. She is so funny and we have so much in common because we both have the same major, kind of. Our majors are both Music Industry but she is in Bandier which is a little different but it is the same basic concept. But whatever, she is so much fun and I cannot wait to spend this whole semester getting to know her better. So...I guess that is it for now. I will try to post more often so I don't write so much.

PS - I need to recognize one of my new favorite artists, Brett Dennen. He is awesome live and recorded. I learned about him when he toured with John Mayer but i feel he is so different from John is so many ways. I love his music and it can always put me in a good mood because it so upbeat but it touched upon topics that are so controversial. He is a true artist with fantastic, lyrically driven songs. You should check him out.

Tomorrow

So.. tomorrow I am going to see Spring Awakening for the 2nd and final time before it closes in one week (01/18). I am very excited to go see the show again and be able to experience it in a new way because it won't be my first time seeing it. I feel like I will be able to appreciate the little nuances and notice new details that I did not see the first time. I do not even care who plays what role really because I will love it either way. Although having Matt Doyle as Melchior would just be icing on the cake.

So I was also looking up information about the new Broadway show revival of "Hair" and found out that when it was done over the summer that Jonathan Groff played Claude. Jonathan Groff originated the role of Melchior in Spring Awakening and I was hoping that he would then do the Broadway debut. Unfourtunately he is not but it was really interesting seeing videos on Youtube of him playing Claude because that character is sooo different from anything in Spring Awakening. I am really excited to get tickets to see Hair because I have always been attracted to that time period. And I love the music.

On another note, I am leaving early saturday to go back to Syracuse to start the spring semester. I am pretty excited to go back to school it should be a very challenging but rewarding semester for me. I am sure that I will be stressed to the max for most of it but I will still try and find time to blog between studying and everything else.

So.... more on Spring Awakening to come after I see it tomorrow.

Trust My Own True Mind

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about life changing experiences and how one thing can affect someones life greatly. This has happened to me lately and this past month I have been thinking about my life and have decided to make a change. In the beginning of this month I went to NYC and saw Spring Awakening on Broadway and it has affected me more than most people know. It is not just the story that has brought about this change but the things I found afterwards along with the story. I was greatly moved by Melchior and the amazingly talented Matt Doyle. In the play Melchior sees the world as he wants to see it and lives his life as he sees fit but in the end he is punished for it. However, he continues to strive through the bad until he finds his way to the light at the end. I want to live my life that way. I want to be able to see past the poor decisions and the things that I don't like about myself to find the light. This is finally the path that I see myself on and I am optimistic that what I am doing right now is leading me towards that path and helping me to reach the end of the tunnel.

I am also very inspired by the actor that I saw play Melchior, Matt Doyle. I was in awe of his performance and it helped me to try and change my life, to do what I wanted to do which is how he lives his life. I do not want to live to do only as directed or to conform to societies standards, I want to live how I want and make all of my own decisions without trying to please everyone at the same time.

These ideas have helped me to grow in ways that I never thought would be possible. I have been going through my life as a zombie, blocking out all emotion and never really thinking about how I am actually living. I let other peoples actions and emotions run my life. I have never been one to speak about my true feelings with anyone and not expressing myself the way I should, I believe, hurt me and hindered my growth as a person. In order to truly live my life, I need to experience and feel everything possible. I need to take every opportunity and go to the fullest and this is how I plan on living my life from this point on.

Starting A Blog

So.... I decided to start a blog this year. I am really starting to get into writing down how I feel and what I am into at the moment and I thought this would be a good place for me to track what I am into at that moment. I will post about things that are deep and meaningful and bands or music that I am obsessed at that moment. I guess we will see what comes out of this new adventure. I am very excited to start blogging for real and maybe people will actuall read it which would be weird and cool at the same time haha.